Closed Loop Permission Form

One word. Ugh.

I have been emailed the paperwork for the Closed Loop Study Betsey will hopefully participate in. It's completely do-able. I love the idea of it. I really, really want her to do it. I had a brief discussion with her tonight about it, going over the one part of it that I thought may be hard for her - the two 3-night hospital stays.

Her face kind of dropped. Her eyes welled up with tears. "Will you or Daddy be there, too?"

Oh gosh. I had given her the heads up on this, but maybe because it was the reality that she'd be doing it.

I don't know if we'll be there, to be honest. I have to find out. I kind of led her to believe we would be. I wish I could take that back. Tomorrow, I will re-read the information and call when I have a second to talk with the research coordinator.

I explained to Betsey that before the pump was readily available, there were a group of children who did a similar study, and probably stayed overnight in the hospital to have their sugars and other vitals monitored to make the insulin pump what it is today. For her. And this study, in time, will eventually be beneficial to other children and is a step in the direction towards a cure.

I think she heard this: "Waaaa waa, waaa waaaaa wawaaaa...."

The floor she stays on is the research floor, the one she stayed in when she was diagnosed. They have a toy room, a TV room, all the amenities - well, for a hospital.

I want her to do this to be a part of an advancement. To look back on when she is older and be able to feel what she did was a good thing, that she helped another child. But she has to want to do it. It doesn't matter how much I want her to do it. I can't make her do it.

To be continued.........