I Dare You... (JDRF 2011 Dinner)

I am a firm believer in the phrase "Everything happens for a reason."  I have met my share of people who disagree with this for whatever reason, but myself, I think there's something to it.  I also believe in the power of a full moon and the ebb and flow of the tides.  I'm not necessarily a spiritual person, or a religious one, but I have certain beliefs about things, and I stand firm with them.

Sit down--this is a long one....

It's no secret that I had my oldest at a young age.  An age that she is approaching, and fast!  I was just 18 when I gave birth to this delicious little 7 pound 10 ounce baby doll.  I had NO idea what I was doing, even though the years of babysitting had taught me many things.  Having your own baby who wakes you in the night, who relies on you for everything except their own breaths, and who hold you accountable, without their knowing, for their life and future...What a responsibility for a teenager.  I recall many comments, many gestures, and many looks from people as I weaved my way through motherhood those first few months, essentially alone, trying to figure out how often to breastfeed her, how much wetness and musturdy poops a pamper could hold, which immunizations to give and when, whether to let her cry it out or not...  So many things for a young girl.  I should have been thinking about what party to attend and with whom, and maybe thinking about colleges.  I think about Hayley at 17.5 years now and wonder if she had to could she do what I did?  Of course the answer is "yes" but I wouldn't wish it on any teenager.  It wasn't glamorous in the least. 

One day, my mother called me when I was about 7 months pregnant and asked me to stop by her house because some mail had come for me.  When I arrived, she handed me an envelope addressed to me - no return address, and handwriting that was unfamiliar to me.  Inside was a handwritten note wrapped around two $125 gift certificates to Babies R Us.  The note was short and sweet, wishing me luck with my new baby, and offering me these gift certificates for pampers, onsies, burping bibs, linens, and anything else I might need.  The note was signed, "Your Guardian Angel."

To this day, I do not know who this Angel is. 

I think about that gift often.  It was unexpected, unforeseen, and it lifted my spirits so high I can not tell you.  I was in a place in my life where I wasn't working, I had no money, I was living in random places and didn't have a place to call "home" to bring this baby I was carrying. 

No pity party.  I made my choices.

And everything happens for a reason. 

I would love to know who this generous soul is that brightened my day and made me cry and gave me a glimpse of hope that everything, somehow, would be OK.  Somehow.  The reality is, I probably will never know.  I understand this. 

This instance has had a profound impact on how I live my life since with other people who need assistance - whether they ask for it, or know it or not.  It can be a friend having a bad day who comes home to flowers on her doorstep, or a family who just had another baby and organizing a meal plan...  What goes around, comes around.

Russ put into motion and took off flying with a month long fundraiser for Betsey for research for a cure to type 1 through JDRF.  He put jars on the counter in his restaurant for pennies and nickels and the occasional dollar or 2. He enabled Betsey & I to manage a table at the local farmers market to sell our baked goodies and offered lemonade and iced T and gift certificates from his restaurant. He solicited shamelessly for my girl, donations for our silent auction for the benefit dinner, and he sold out all the tickets for the dinner  - and to top it off, he cooked the most fabulous meal for 45+ people, timely served and impeccably presented and filled our tummies with absolute goodness.

Russ is a man with a dirty mind, quick wit, nasty jokes, scrumptious baked goods, a delightful wife, 3 spunky boys that he loves more than vodka drinks, and a zest for what matters in life that is like no other.  Russ is a man I met a little over a year ago when we frequented his restaurant, right down the road from our newly purchased peiceofshit house that we were....are...still renovating.  I would walk the children down last summer, faithfully, every morning, for coffee and breakfast, sometimes nibbles for lunch, and always an afternoon coffee.  I was his best customer last year.  For anyone that knows Russ will agree, he has a heart of gold and a great sense of humor.  What a lot of you don't know, is Russ is the most sensitive men I know.  And he'd be the first to admit it.

He loves to love.  He loves to give.  He loves to make people feel good.  He loves to see people smile.  And he does whatever it is he does, out of the goodness of his heart. 

No strings attached. 

This is a rare trait in a friend. 

Giving out of the goodness of your heart.  We should all take a lesson from him.  The world would be a better place.  What he has done for me for this ride, is almost too much for me to put into words...

I recently had some therapy sessions to figure out the ways of life, my life as of late, and in one of the sessions, the councilor brought up my children.  She asked me about them.  I went through the line up, discussing briefly all of them, highlighting the "who they are."  She came back to Betsey.

"Tell me about Betsey.  Tell me about her diabetes.  How does that affect you and your life?"

We were about eight minutes into the hour long session. 

For the next fifty-two minutes, I poured my heart out to her like I had held some kind of secret since March 13, 2005.  

She just sat.  And listened. 

I should have offered her a cocktail.  She probably would have brought one if she knew what Pandora's box she'd be opening by asking.  But even I didn't know.

Betsey's diabetes affects everyone around her.  Its a constant reminder that, to live, she has to do certain things.  Her siblings are inadvertently aware, her friends are plugged in, her father is in the thick of it, and her mother breathes it with her day to day, hour by hour, minute by minute ... I didn't realize until this one therapy session just how much it affects me.  I don't like to let on.  I'll discuss and answer questions and educate when necessary, but the truth of the matter is, it eats me alive.  It is the heaviest component of my life now, and probably forever will be.  As it is for Betsey.  This is her life.

I knew Russ was doing this fundraiser because we had he and Gail over for dinner and we discussed it. That is the only difference in the story between Russ' story pertaining to me and the Guardian Angel that sent me the gift certificates for Hayley as a baby.

The idea is the same.

The meaning is the same.

The thought is the same.

The feeling is the same.

The sharing of the goodness in the heart is the same.

Russ Marchello is an angel in a bald, red haired facial disguise.

My JDRF Ride to Cure, 2011, is sponsored by Paperback Cafe.

On Tuesday I will make a donation to my fundraising page totaling the enitre amount I need to raise to ride the Tuscon, AZ ride!

I am looking into having a shirt made for me that says my ride is sponsored by Russ and his efforts. 

It means more to me than I can ever let on... for then, my soul is exposed.

Russ...  Thank you.  Thank you to you and your staff that offered to volunteer their time to help make the spectacular dinner that night, and to the band who played sweet tunes all night, and to the all of the people we know and we didn't know that bought tickets to support Betsey and my ride in Arizona... From the bottom of my heart... for your efforts, for your love and support, your dedication that surpasses most people's intentions, your endless ideas and compassion,  and especially, your morning glory muffins - which are to-die-for.

Speedo & I, Betsey & her siblings, we are forever grateful for your unconditional kindness.

You have no idea.  I dare any of you to be as giving as Russ... I Dare You...

xoxo

Here is a slideshow from the Benefit for Betsey & JDRF that Russ held at Paperback.  Click "full screen" and turn your volume up!