The One Good Thing

Summer shots suck.

There's no other way to put it.

The extra stuff we have to pack and take with us anywhere is a lot to remember and for some reason, stresses me out. I haven't memorized the insulin to carb ratios yet for the different times during the day that determine how much insulin to fill the syringe with to pump into Betsey if she eats or if she is high and needs a correction. And I have to give her a shot every time she eats something over 10 grams of carbohydrates. Yesterday she had a total of 9 shots! I feel a little "OCD"ish when we leave the house, asking Betsey over and over if she remembered this, that and the other thing -- five or six times. She never answers me nicely, it's always a "Yesssss......." with a heavy sigh involved and the occasional eye roll. She is 12.

There is no rhythm to her numbers, no rhyme or reason. It's a guessing game with how much Levemir (long lasting insulin) to give her in the morning and again at night - all based on her pump settings. And with the Novalog (fast acting) I know how to figure it out, but sometimes she just doesn't eat what we bolus (give insulin) for. And then we're stuck. With the pump, she boluses for the food, and if she decides not to eat half the yogurt... no big deal. We put a temporary rate on the pump to slow or lessen the flow of insulin going through her tubing into her body. No problem. A lot more flexibility.

The first night of shots a few days ago, I was so nervous about giving her the insulin before bed... Scared to death of a low in the middle of the night.

One that would keep reacting to the insulin.

One that wouldn't stop.

How do you fix that? She has to eat. Fast sugars to bring her number back up. And if she keeps dropping -- food. Who eats food in the middle of the night?

I gave her the dosage of both insulins the nurse suggested. Speedo and I tested her 2x that night. Both times, low. Good grief. Hate that.

"Betsey--wake up.... here, have this sugar tab ... you're low."

She chewed it as she rolled over and grunted, wanting to be asleep, not bothered with sugar tabs at 11:30pm or again at 2:30am.

Then I have to stuff another one in her mouth. 2 sugar tabs to treat the low.

Yuck, especially at that hour of the night/morning. I hear ya, Bets!

So the next night I dropped the insulin dose down a unit on one and only bolused for some of the night time snack.

Both blood sugar checks that night -- high. Do you correct it with a shot in the middle of the night?? I didn't. I can't. It makes me nervous. Really nervous. I have a hard enough time falling back to sleep as it is. Speedo too, poor 40+ year old! :)

Speedo and I are on nightly duties now; up twice during the night, just like in times past, to check Betsey's blood sugar to make sure she's at a safe level to sleep. I can not sleep well while she is on shots. Just can't do it.

Honestly-- I don't know how people do it. The insulin pump is the only way to go. It is HUGE in terms of overnight security with a child diabetic. Huge.

Yesterday we spent the day in Rhode Island - one of our favorite places to be. Real sand, real waves and salty water - the sights and sounds I grew up with. Betsey was in the water almost the whole time. She checked her blood sugar as I asked her to. There were no worries about not having insulin running through her because the Levemir in the morning took care of that.

There is one good thing about shots....Betsey seems to enjoy her body feeling free of the pump. She loves not having to wear it. She loves the disconnection of diabetes I think she feels because that constant reminder is not attached to her belt or in her pocket. She loves that no one asks her what it is, or that people don't look at her when she has to use it. It's almost like she's a diabetic and only she knows it - no outward appearances give it away.

She's content with the shots....despite the small brusing on her arms from the multiple injections. Despite the pinch she feels with each shot. Despite the extra stuff she has to carry with her.

It's her choice for the summer, and we're going with it. I keep telling myself.... it's only a month and a half......