That Connection

Speedo was on a job site yesterday and another fella came around to unload some materials. They made small talk like men on the job site do. Then Speedo noticed a wire like tubing coming from his pocket and hanging down like Betsey's pump tubing does. Immediately, he asked, without hesitation, "Are you a diabetic?"

There have been only a handful of times I have noticed tubing on another diabetic who wears an insulin pump. But I know it when I see it. And it always makes me feel connected to them. I know I am not the one with diabetes, but I do live it every day with Betsey. I know I don't fully understand the emotion that comes with the disease, as the one who indeed has it, or the sorrow, or the anger, the hurt, the isolation, all of that... but as her mother, helping her learn to manage it, and learning with her as we go along, I have similar feelings, and I still feel the connection.

One time we were at Dairy Queen and there was a large family with 6 kids, like ours. My children, Speedo and I did "the count" that happens so many times with us... 1, 2, 3....... 6!! To look at all of them seems like alot of people. But living it does not. Unless they're all naughty and loud at once. So from time to time I glanced their way at the table they sat at, they're brood was older than ours. And then I saw it. Tubing. Of all things-- they have 6 kids and a diabetic!! We had a brief conversation with them about the diagnosis circumstances, the insulin pump of choice, management... and they were back on the road to their home in New York. Betsey didn't say much, just looked at the girl who had type 1 from time to time, didn't ask questions. But they caught each other's eye a few times, looking at each other like, I know. I'm sweet, too.

In church last summer, there was a father and son in the pew in front of us. The young boy was a handsome, blond, shaggy haired, beachy looking teenager. I saw my older daughter paying more attention to him than the mass. At the same time, she and I both noticed it.... the tubing. He had actually cut a small hole in the side of his pants for the tubing to come out of for the pump to go in his pocket. He must have worn the site in his leg, rather than his bum. We pointed it out to Bets, and for that rest of that hour, she felt that connection to the handsome beach boy in the pew in front of us. No words spoken. No handshake for the "Peace be with you" exchange. Just her own little, you have it, too connection.

So when Speedo and this young man started conversation yesterday, Betsey's diagnosis came right back to him. This young man shared his story - it is one of those things you just share when asked or you offer it to another diabetic...mothers of diabetics to fellow mothers of diabetics.....children diabetics to other child diabetics. Personally, I could talk about it forever. That and breastfeeding.

This young man was in bad shape the day he was diagnosed. He was in DKA (diabetic keto acidosis) and his sugar read above 1000 mg/dl! He relayed to Speedo that in the car ride to the ER, he felt as though he was looking through a white sheet and everything seemed to be fading. he said he felt close to death. He was largely overweight 3 months prior to his diagnosis, and over the course of a few months had lost about 120 pounds!!!

I am thankful that Betsey's diagnosis day was not nearly as bad as that..... her sugar was high, 400-something and her A1C was 10-something. She hadn't felt sick or nauseated. She was just thin and thirsty. On the brink of a possible turn for the worse.

There is some comfort in knowing about other diabetics for Betsey. A connection to a relatively "small" percentage of people who have type 1. On the off chance we meet someone with type 1, I see Betsey's eyes brighten, her ears perk. She's reminded, I'm not alone.